When Wadha Al Marri rushed her infant son to an emergency department in Abu Dhabi in 2019, his temperature had climbed to 40°C. She feared the worst. Instead of being taken straight for treatment, she says she was stopped at reception and asked for documents her foster son did not yet have. “I offered my own ID. I offered my bank card. I said, ‘Please, just treat him,’” Al Marri recalled. “He was burning with fever, and I was standing there crying.”
The child was eventually treated after medical staff intervened, but the experience remains one of several incidents that pushed Al Marri and other foster mothers to advocate for systemic change through the newly launched Foster Families Society. “Until you live it, you don’t realise how complicated simple things can become,” she said.
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Al Marri, now mother to foster sons Theyab, 7, and Ghaith, 6, as well as her biological son Ali, said healthcare was only one of many logistical hurdles. Despite paying more than Dh8,000 for private health insurance for one of her children during an earlier stage of the process, she said some hospitals still insisted on identity documents. “Insurance was there. The child was there. But the system still said no.”
Fatmah Al Muraikhi, another foster mother involved in the newly launched society, said medical challenges often continue long after a child leaves hospital. “Sometimes a child comes to you with almost no medical history,” she said. “You don’t know what tests they’ve had, what support they might need, or what needs to be followed up. You start building that file yourself.”
Al Muraikhi said many foster families end up arranging full health screenings, developmental assessments and specialist appointments in the early months after placement. “People see the joy of bringing a child home,” she said. “They don’t always see the appointments, the follow-ups, and the extra costs that come with making sure that child has everything they need.”
Even naming her children became its own emotional battle. Al Marri said one of her sons waited nearly a year and a half before his name was officially approved after repeated requests to authorities.
She had wanted to name her first foster son Theyab, in honour of her late father, who had encouraged her to begin the fostering journey while he was in hospital in 2013. “I told them, ‘This is the name my father chose before he passed away,’” she explained.
But with her second son, the process proved far longer. Authorities initially assigned a different name, which she said did not feel right for her family. “After more than a year of back-and-forth, the child was officially named Ghaith. “People think fostering means you simply welcome a child home,” she said. “They don’t see the paperwork, the waiting, the fighting.”
Those experiences are now shaping her work as manager of the newly launched Foster Families Society, established in Abu Dhabi to support current and prospective foster families, document recurring challenges, and push for clearer, more unified procedures across government entities.
“When I started, I thought I would just knock on a door, choose a child, and bring them home,” Al Marri said. “I didn’t realise I would spend years navigating different offices, repeating the same explanations, and learning procedures through trial and error.”
Al Marri first applied to foster in 2013 after years of fertility treatments across multiple countries. She finally received her first placement in 2019 — six years later. “Every time a door closed, I kept knocking again.”
Through the new association, Al Marri said she hopes future foster families will not have to learn those lessons alone. As a board member and manager of the association, she said one of her priorities is creating a unified guide for families, from medical procedures and documentation to psychological support and specialised care. “We want mothers to know exactly where to go, who to speak to, and what to expect,” she explained. “I believe things will become easier. This association can change a lot.”
Hoda Al Mashjari, founding member and vice-chair of the Foster Families Society, said one of the organisation’s immediate priorities is helping families navigate systems that often operate independently of one another. “For years, families were learning everything through trial and error,” she said. “One office would send you somewhere else, another would ask for different paperwork, and many parents simply didn’t know what the next step was.”
Al Mashjari said the association hopes to work with public and private entities to create clearer pathways around healthcare, documentation and family support. “Our goal is that no mother feels she is fighting these battles alone,” she said.
While she says many procedures have already improved since her early years as a foster mother, gaps remain — especially when systems built around biological families fail to immediately recognise foster ones. “These children are ours,” she said. “When they are sick, there shouldn’t be barriers.”
Source: Khaleej Times